When You Feel Lost

feeling lostmaking the world a better placegod gave you giftsis god listeningare you there godfeeling alone

Aug 8

Tough Times

A few days ago, I broke down crying with a pie in my hands in my driveway. For months I’d been trying to hold all my worries inside. But today was the final straw. The straw that broke the camel’s toe (that’s how that expression goes, right?)

Small cracks had been forming with other friends over the last week. I was finally opening up a little after not talking about any of it at all. But the real break came because of dad energy (and not the Pedro Pascal kind).

I had a birthday recently. And my sweet friend made me a fruit pie. She was at work, so she sent her husband over to deliver it. They’re older than I am. And I’ve known them for 20 years or so. They have parent energy. They’re about the age my parents would be if they were still here, and they have their crap together.

So there I was in my driveway, accepting my lovely pie, when my friend with the wholesome dad energy asked how I’ve been. That’s all it took. A safe place and honest curiosity about how I’ve been. The floodgates opened, and the tears started pouring out.

I told him I wasn’t great. I’d been feeling lost, confused, and sad. I’d been praying a lot, but I felt like God wasn’t answering me. Now, I’m a pretty reasonable woman. I know it can’t be sunny every day. But I feel like life has really been beating me down. And I have no idea which direction I’m supposed to be heading. That lack of direction is probably the worst of it all. Lost. I’m lost.

And the one guy who’s supposed to tell me where to go, isn’t saying anything.

God is With You

Here’s the funny thing about this, my friend with the dad energy? The pie deliveryman? He’s a man of God. He literally works for a church. So, here I am crying, telling him I feel like God isn’t answering, when one of His servants has been delivered to my door.

I was feeling like no one cared, no one could understand, and God sent someone who would. Someone I rarely see. So, it was no coincidence.

Listen, it may not happen the moment you ask. It may not happen the way you think it will. But God is listening. Sometimes you won’t see His help until later. Only in writing this did I recognize that God sent me someone to talk to. So maybe you won’t see it until you’re looking back, or at all.

His sending me a friend didn’t immediately fix my life. But it has renewed my faith. I feel more at peace knowing someone is out there who cares. (That’s not to say the other people in my life don’t care, by the way. Sometimes you just need a particular person with pie.) I feel as though I’ve been reminded that God cares and He’s helping to line things up for me.

I don’t know where I’m going, but I know He’s driving.

Recognize Your Gifts

One of the topics that came up in my meltdown was my career. I work part-time at a hospital and despite the financial benefit, I don’t want to go back to full-time. I want to do creative stuff.

I want to write, speak, coach and more. But none of those things have paid the bills (so far). Because of that, I’ve been feeling doubt around them. Maybe this isn’t what God wants me to do. Maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe that’s not my destiny. Round and round I’ve gone.

I keep turning myself in circles. I want to provide a good life for my kids. I want to buy the things they need, and I need. I’d like to do that without outside help from anyone else.

My driveway therapist gave me some advice on this. He said, if I want to write, honor God with it. We all have gifts given to us. Maybe your gift is healing, building, managing, painting, or countless others. What gift did God give you?

Honoring God

So, my gifts are words, writing, speaking, giving advice, coaching, holding space for others, that kind of thing. How can I honor God with those?

Start by using your gifts. God didn’t give you gifts for no reason. He gave them to you to use them, to help others, or make the world a better place. Don’t let the gifts get rusty; use them.
Help others with your gifts. I always hope my words are helping someone. That’s always the intention. Having that intention, and using the gift, I have to trust it’ll reach the people God wants it to reach. I have to coach the people who want coaching, give guidance where I’m called, and share my journey through my written or spoken words. That’s what I’m called to do. And that’s what you’re called to do with your gifts.
Trust God to bless the path. If you’re doing what God has called you to do, have faith He’s going to take care of you. He will make a way for you to pay your bills or have the things you need using the gifts you’ve been given.

So what gifts did God give you? I’m challenging you to make a list of your gifts right now. Not later, because you won’t. Right now. Make a list. Write down the gifts you’ve been given, and don’t be humble.

Now, how can you honor God by using these gifts? Don’t worry about whether it makes you money or doesn’t, if it takes a lot of time, or if you think it’s crazy. How can you use the gifts in a way God would want you to?

They don’t call it “Walking in faith” for nothing. Some days will be easier than others. It’s not going to make sense sometimes. But keep putting one foot in front of the other and let God show you where He wants you to go.

And don’t worry. If you get lost, maybe you’ll find a man in your driveway, holding a pie and asking how you are.